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Best Traits when Supporting a Griever:
  • Supportive, but not trying to fix the person
  • About feelings
  • Non active, not telling anyone what to do
  • Admitting he/she can't make it better
  • Not asking for something or someone to change their feelings
  • Not time limited
  • Able to sit and tolerate silence and tears
  • Able to sit and listen and listen and listen
  • Interested in the story the griever tells

Worst Traits when with a Griever:

  • They want to fix the loss
  • They are about our discomfort
  • They are directive in nature
  • They rationalize or try to explain loss
  • They may be judgemental
  • Not about the griever
  • May minimize the loss
  • May compare or contrast the loss
  • Put a time-line on loss and grief
  • May share their own loss instead of listening to mine at this time (there is time for that in the future, just not right now).

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